In India, Rape is a Reality- Let's face it

Last night I had once more a bout of Gas and indigestion, robbing off my precious sleep. A bloated tummy often makes me nostalgic, poignant and at times depressive. So, rather than engaging in futile attempt to get some sleep, I started thinking about the BBC film produced on the gruesome rape committed in the streets of Delhi on 16th December,2012. The incident rocked the Nation's conscience and there was widespread outpour of anguish. For the first time in my life, I was also a part of a silent Candle March protest.  

I asked my inner self the same question which each and every Indian male should be asking to himself – Kamaljit, Have you ever come across any thought of violating a lady’s modesty? I am no saint to overcome earthly desires. But thought of committing a heinous crime like rape has never come to my mind even in the wildest dreams. If I am never a rapist even in thought what makes some people to become rapist? Immediately, three incidents came to my mind.

The first incident goes back to the Assam Engineering College days when one of my friends Vinod Kumar fell sick and two senior girls came to visit him whom with respect and love we used to call as “Ba” in short, meaning elder sister. I was buying banana  when both of them approached me to enquire about Vinod's room. As they entered into the room and  the door got closed, the banana seller, who was looking them from behind with lustful eyes, was left thunderstruck. His eyes were a heady mix of lust, excitement, disbelief and envy.

The second incident also goes back to the Engineering days. The bus I got into was sparsely occupied and only few people including me were standing in the aisle. One elderly gentleman was reading a newspaper with a young girl sitting in the adjacent seat. Somehow it felt awkward to me to see him reading the newspaper spreading the entire page while the girl , sitting by him looked flustered  . After some minutes of close observation, my young blood raged over seeing the perverted activity of the man. He got down in the next stoppage covering his bloody face while no one ever enquired what prompted an young man to punch on the elderly gentleman’s face.

The third incident which I am quoting was during a trip to Puri with my friends. We were four boys and one girl (Beena- not real name) who made some adjustment in-between a training program to visit the Puri beach. In those days as Engineer trainee, we could hardly afford  posh hotels. As our friend, Beena, was a pure vegetarian, she invited me to accompany her to a nearby vegetarian restaurant.  Out of courtesy, I went with her though I was never a fan of vegetarian food.  Next day morning, I was surprised to see a chair in my bathroom  when the other occupant (Anil- not the real name) with a mischievous smile told that he was unlucky not to find any hole in the wall to peep through at the bathroom of the other room where our lady friend was staying.

In the evening, after few pints of beer, my friend was high when the telephone rang up. It was Beena  at the other end and asked me whether I would like to accompany her for dinner like the previous evening. This time, Anil snatched the phone from me and to my horror yelled something unspeakable vulgar words before I managed to do any damage control. That evening, I didn't have courage to face Beena and went to sleep without food. More than hungry, I was hurt and felt so low to be in the company of such a person who happened to be from a reputed College and high social status.

To me, those three persons are three potential rapists with three different states of mind. The first one represents that part of  India where a major chunk of our population lives. They grow up in a purely male dominated society, ignorant and full of prejudices where freedom to girl attracts pre-conceived questions on her morality. They include people right from the poor Banana seller to the Chief Minister. They find excuses on the dress code, free movement of the girls and her companions as the cause of  all the crimes. Fortunately, with time and development, this group will be marginalized. The second category are like the old crook in the city bus in Guwahati. They are the demons in the guise of gentlemen who always look for an opportunity but sensitive about their stature in the society and so timid if the victim is bold enough. The third category is like that Engineer in a Puri Hotel, who suffers from psychological disorders and need proper counseling.

So how do we eradicate this menace when the type of perpetrators of this crime are of diverse breed ! Impact of fit all measures like  imposition of a strict law will only be minimal. If you travel by road from Delhi to Dehradun or through the jam-packed roads of western UP, a customary look on the dilapidated buildings and structures and you will never miss an advertisement of a “Hekim” who possesses the magic formula of enhancing male sexual potential. I don’t know whether any NGO or researcher has ever carried any study on this sexual obsession and whether it has something to do with the mental and sexual life a large population leading to rape crimes. In India discussing about sex is a social taboo and no one will ever advise them that more than the "Hekim", they need to learn some control over the mind . Our children grow up to adulthood with flawed ideas.   

Many words of wisdom told to us during childhood and teenage have become part and parcel of our lives  in latter part. Can’t we do something with the school curriculum to teach our children to be respectful to the ladies ? Why don't we have a swatch Bharat like Abhiyan (mission) against rape ?

Corruption has ruined most of our institutions including Judiciary. People including the criminals have lost faith on the delivery of Judiciary. Use of technology in all spheres can reduce avenues of corruption. I am looking forward from the present Government to bring out not only economic reforms but also Judiciary and Police reforms.

 

While BBC was prompt to make a film on India's Nirbhaya case, they may also look at the figures of other western countries with considerably low population. As per the information of www.globalpost.com , India is ranked second in such crimes after USA. The cause of worry is that in India many such crimes go unreported due to fear of social stigma on the woman and only a tiny portion of our womenfolk go out of their homes to work. Hypocrisy is the root cause of many Indian evils. Faced with a problem, we tend to overlook and look for weaker targets to vent off out egos and frustration. We call others racists while living in one of the most caste and class conscious society where a person’s worth is often measured by the skin color.

Finally, the best prevention is to be mindful. The ladies need to understand that even if they are entitled to a free world, as long as predators are lurking outside for an opportunity, be little  watchful. India is a land of 1.3 billion people unlike the European countries  and even if  10% are crooks, it comes out to be 130 million and one amongst those 130 million can be everywhere.

Rape will survive till human race survives in this planet. That doesn't mean, we will not think something different other than candle marches, protests and observing Women's Day. 

 

 You can contact Kamaljit at kamaljitmedhi1975@gmail.com